Do you hear your child use a word and wonder how that word fits the context of the sentence?  I looked in several dictionaries for the definition of the word “love.” 

  One of my dictionaries, published 45 years ago has 3 primary definitions for this word that is foundational to our language, our customs and our emotions.  A dictionary published 3 years ago has double the number of primary meanings.  How many more meanings are used every day but not considered proper to include as definitions in the dictionaries?

We all know the definitions of love coming from the Greek meaning either sensual, family or godly love.  What definitions of love do we use and practice in our homes.  Too often in my home and in the homes of the majority of families I know, “love” is encased in and is expressed from a love surrounded by “me.”  It’s natural to have formed my own sense of what love is by the love I’ve been shown by my parents, family, teachers, friends, the church, etc.  It’s also natural to express love with fear not knowing if I’ll be betrayed and therefore exposed as a sentimental idiot without strength of character.  It’s natural to say, “I’ll love if I’m loved back.”  It’s also natural to think, “I can’t love because I have no love in me.  Every time I’ve loved someone and exposed my true self, I’ve been used and left raw and exposed to ridicule.”  Is there “love” that is unattached to any of our personal feelings, our history, our exposure?  Can there be pure love vividly seen in our homes – by our children and their friends?  Can we break the cycle that defines love by the “me” that encases my brand of love?

We can!  It takes each of us being willing to allow the inconsiderate hurts being hurled our way when we love unconditionally and are taken advantage of.  It requires me to say that the value of my love, the response I receive and the consequences of my “love” is not dependent on human response but my desire to pattern my love on the unconditional love shown by God who, as described in Philippians 2, left Glory, humbled himself to become like His creation for 30 years, allowed Himself to be betrayed and murdered by hanging on a cross and crying out, “Father forgive them because they don’t know what they are doing!”  Can I love my children like that?  Can you?

None of us are perfect as individuals – nor are our marriages perfect.  As we work together to maintain our love and a strong marriage, our homes will be a good environment for growing and happy children.