To be alive is to have faced disappointments. One of the most important legacies we can give our children is a healthy way to react to disappointing life situations.

My children watch my reactions to being disappointed. By the time they are teenagers, they know I can react several ways. Why? Because they too have been disappointed many, many times. They have reacted. Am I devastated by disappointments? Do I withdraw and make it difficult for those around me? Do disappointments make me a winner?

It is a proven fact that great inventors like Thomas Edison failed at more than 1,000 trials before succeeding to create an invention (like a light bulb) that actually works. Those of you who are teachers – How many failures did Jaime Escalante deal with before he was recognized as one of the premier educators in the United States of America? Those of you who drive cars – how many times did your neck jerk back and forth as you tried to learn how to shift from 1^st to 2^nd gear? Parents – did your child ever drive you crazy because you didn’t understand what they were crying about? Those who are most successful are those who are least afraid of disappointments and failures. Can we teach our children this? Those who are most creative are those who are not afraid to dream the unbelievable, try the unthinkable, experience disappointment and feel the unmistakable satisfaction accompanying sweet success. Do we want this for our children?

When our children come to us in tears because of disappointments or we receive negative news of something we have anticipated with excitement, how do we react? Jesus wept when he looked over Jerusalem and knew of the thousands of people who would not accept His free gift of salvation. He comforted Mary and Martha when His friend and their brother Lazarus died. He refused to accuse a broken woman caught in adultery but confronted her accusers. He promised hope to those at the foot of the cross – those who had expected Him to be the conquering Messiah. Can we do learn from our Lord?

Sometimes our children just need warm hugs of love to know we support them – even if they feel disappointment and defeat. Sometimes they need a suggestion. Sometimes we need to look at disappointments as keeping us from wrong decisions and giving us new perspectives. Disappointments hurt. Disappointments are real. Let’s help our children to grow from disappointments.

None of us are perfect as individuals – nor are our marriages perfect. As we work together to maintain our love and a strong marriage, our homes will be a good environment for growing and happy children.