My daughter held her hand still as a butterfly carefully crawled onto her fingers from a flower. She didn’t move a muscle for several minutes as she watched in wonder as the butterfly flexed its wings back and forth.

The sun showed colors unseen to a casual observer. Suddenly the butterfly flew into the air. The look of pure joy didn’t immediately leave Megan’s face as she watched it fly. Her tender heart had opened for her wonders others would seldom see. Despite our general misconceptions, tenderness is not weakness.

Just as Megan tenderly held her hand for that butterfly, so we as parents can tenderly hold our children as they flex their mental and physical muscles. One day they’ll fly away. Our joy will even culminate and overflow to see the freedom that grew from the security of our gentle embrace.

Often we teach our children that strength is what will earn them the best and most lucrative jobs; that strength is what will attract a mate and that strength alone will surround them with friends and bring them through life’s problems. Strength of character, based on firm and unchangeable principles is absolutely important. But strength without a tender heart will only go so far. Jesus demonstrated strength in character when he drove the merchants from the temple, but also invited little children to sit on His knees, sat with a woman that no one else would be seen with and pardoned a murderer hanging on a cross next to Him. Tenderness of heart complements strength of character. This is a powerful combination to plant in the lives of our children.

Tenderness means I need to take time for others. I need to be vulnerable to my wife and children. Tenderness means I will look out for other’s best interests. Tenderness means I’ll hold the sick and give to the poor. A tender plant or steak is sweet and never tough. Tenderness is arms open wide, a lap to sit on, a hug and kiss when hurting. Can you imagine your child learning the art of tender love? I’m sure that when I’m old, we’ll look forward to a tender hug and kiss from our children. Teach them well.

None of us are perfect as individuals – nor are our marriages perfect. As we work together to maintain our love and a strong marriage, our homes will be a good environment for growing and happy children.