St. Francis of Assisi had discovered the secret of happiness when he prayed:

Oh divino Maestro, Concédeme que no busque
Ser conolado sino consolar;
Ser comprendido sino comprender;
Ser amado sino amar.
Es dando que recibimos;
Es perdonanado que somos perdonados
y Es muriendo que nacemos a la vida eterna.

Billy Graham once said, “Tears shed for self are tears of weakness, but tears of love shed for others are a sign of strength.  I am not as sensitive as I ought to be until I am able to ‘weep over the erring one and lift up the fallen.’  Until I have learned the value of compassionately sharing others’ sorrow, distress and misfortune, I cannot know real happiness.  The opposite of love isn’t hate.  It’s selfishness.”

What are our homes like?  What are we teaching our children?  Jesus teaches us to measure our lives by losses rather than gains, by sacrifices rather than self-preservation, by time spent with others rather than time lavished on ourselves, by love poured out rather than love poured in.  During my university days, when I had a free weekend, I would visit my grandmother’s home.  As soon as I opened the door, I could smell Swedish coffee cake and other delightful Swedish cookies.  After a loving hug, my grandmother would quickly grab her purse and several bags full of treats and rush me out the door.  I expected this and would hurry to open the car door for her.  Excitedly she would direct me to homes of women who could no longer leave their homes.  Lovingly she would enter the room of an invalid, give her a hug and a coffee cake.  Then she would have me read some Psalms to her dear friends.  Grandma had difficulty speaking and reading English, but her love was real.

In 1986 I visited a family in the south of Poland. My host had spent years in the Auschwitz Concentration Camp.  He was now living under communism in Poland.  For six months before our visit, this man and his family saved all their weekly rations for meat and cheese so they could serve us, their guests.  I wept as I watched their smiles.  They were able to treat us as kings by sacrificing their own interests.

Do I teach my children selfless?  How do I spend my free time?  Am I thinking of myself?  Let’s teach our children the art of giving this week.  It’ll last them a lifetime.

None of us are perfect as individuals – nor are our marriages perfect.  As we work together to maintain our love and a strong marriage, our homes will be a good environment for growing and happy children.