As our children grow older, we proudly watch them begin to make decisions – some good, some better than we would have made and others that are definitely bad.  My children love when I tell them they’ve made a good decision, but when I disagree there is the possibility that World War lll will break out – right in my own wonderfully pleasant home!  What do I do?  I know I’m right.  Maybe I’ve made that same mistake before and have paid dearly for years.  Or maybe I’m afraid of what my family and friends will say when my son goes to the next family barbeque wearing his hair in dreadlocks.

It is always extremely important to commend and encourage your child when they make great decisions.  This builds a base of trust.  Never just assume that because your children have the most wonderful, mature parents in the world that they’ll always make good decisions.  When they make good decisions, be the very first to complement them and reinforce their wisdom.

In areas of conflict, allow me to reinforce something I’ve said over and again in these articles.  Your decisions must should be based on the principles and standards you have established to run your lives.  I have chosen standards of honesty, integrity, loyalty and purity.  My children know this.  They also know when I fail to live up to those standards, and it’s my responsibility to apologize and correct my failings.  While my children live under my roof, they are responsible to live by my standards.  Once they are on their own, they can choose.  Areas of conflict with my children usually fall into 2 areas: they are against my established principles or else my pride is affected.

I need to know my standards and not allow myself or my children to violate those standards.  When my child wants to fight me on my standards and they are still in my house, they will lose.  If I am honest with myself and the conflict results because of my pride, there is room for honest discussion.  I need to pick my battles wisely.  Jesus is a good example.  He would not allow the temple to become a place of merchandise.  With righteous anger, He chased the merchants out, and made room for those who wanted to come to the temple for worship.  When His disciples chose to make unwise decisions, He discussed the choice, but allowed them to make the decision that hurt them later.

None of us are perfect as individuals – nor are our marriages perfect.  As we work together to maintain our love and a strong marriage, our homes will be a good environment for growing and happy children.