Your daughter comes into the house, immediately throws her backpack on the floor and runs to her room – crying uncontrollably. You look at her brother who follows her into the house looking for cookies to snack on. He shrugs his shoulders as if to say, “Who knows!”

The very next day your son bursts into the house, immediately throws his backpack on the floor and rushes to his room – sullen and quiet. You look at his sister (now all smiles) as she follows him into the house. She shrugs her shoulders as if to say, “Who knows!”

Both have been criticized by the friends they count on to make them feel good. Both are devastated and don’t know how to handle the criticism. How about us as adults? How do we handle criticism from our spouse, from our boss, from our best friend? Are we the emotional type like the daughter above or the silent type like the son? How do we help our children handle the criticism that they face at school, with their friends or even from strangers on the street?

An old Arabian proverb goes like this, “If one person calls you and ass or a donkey, pay no attention to him. But if five people call you one, go out and buy yourself a saddle.” An Oriental proverb says, “The dogs bark, but the caravan passes.”  Harry Ironside, a famous preacher said, “If the criticism about you is true, mend your ways. If it isn’t, forget about it.” Another man said this: “Never fear criticism when you’re right; never ignore criticism when you’re wrong.” Someone else said, “Don’t mind criticism. If it’s untrue, disregard it; if it’s unfair, keep from irritation; if it’s ignorant, smile; if it’s justified, learn from it.”

All great advice. Let me remind you though that our children also need the assurance of our love and support if they are going to listen and put into practice any advice from us. We, as adults, know that from experience. Sometimes we try to solve the problem for them instead of coaching them to a solution that builds their self-esteem and confidence. Let’s also remember that each of us responds to criticism and also advice differently. You are exactly the person that the Lord has given your children or grandchildren in order to help them through their difficult times. Be careful, loving and encouraging as you respond to your family when they need you most.

None of us are perfect as individuals – nor are our marriages perfect.  As we work together to maintain our love and a strong marriage, our homes will be a good environment for growing and happy children.