One of the ways we impact our children most is with non-verbal communication.  Our children don’t only listen to what we say, but are experts in looking behind the words to how we communicate.  Do we really mean what we say?  Can they get away with not obeying?  Do they see we are reluctantly giving in?  Our children will also become experts in non-verbal communication because they are learning from experts.  How do we communicate without words?

Eye contact, an important way of interpersonal communication, helps regulate the flow of communication. It signals interest in others and increases your credibility. Making eye contact opens the flow of communication and conveys interest, concern, warmth and credibility.

Facial expressions: If you smile frequently you will be perceived as more likable, friendly, warm and approachable. Smiling is often contagious and children will react favorably and learn more.

If you fail to gesture while speaking, you may be perceived as boring and stiff. A lively and animated speaking style captures our children’s attention, makes the material more interesting, helps learning and provides a bit of entertainment. Nodding my head communicate positive reinforcement to my children and shows that I am listening.

Posture and body orientation: You communicate messages by the way you walk, talk, stand and sit. Standing erect, but not rigid, and leaning slightly forward tells your children that you are approachable, receptive and friendly. Don’t speak with your back turned or looking at the floor or ceiling; it communicates disinterest in your child.

Proximity: Cultural norms dictate a comfortable distance for interaction with children. You should look for signals of discomfort caused by invading their space. Some of these are rocking, leg swinging, tapping, looking away.  For power I come closer, for warmth I open some space.

Paralinguistics: This part of nonverbal communication includes tone, pitch, rhythm, timbre, loudness, inflection. To be most effective, learn to vary these six elements of your voice. If I am monotone. My children will quickly turn me off.

Humor is often overlooked as a teaching tool, and it is too often not encouraged in homes. Laughter releases stress and tension. You should develop the ability to laugh at yourself and encourage children to do the same.

Our children will be more successful in school, in their homes and business when they are good communicators.  Let’s be good models as parents.  It will help us as we communicate with our children and help us prepare these gifts of the Lord for their futures.

Nadie es perfecto – ni lo son nuestros matrimonios. Al trabajar juntos para mantener nuestro amor y un matrimonio fuerte, nuestros hogares se convertirán en el ambiente perfecto para criar a niños felices.