There’s a legend of a church built in the southern part of Europe during the 16^th century called the “House of Many Lamps.”  The architect provided for no lighting in the sanctuary. Instead he built in a holder at every seat for those attending to place their lamp.  If someone were missing from an evening service, their place would be dark.  If many stayed away, there would be very little light in the sanctuary.

When all of our five children were talking at the same time at our dinner table, it sounded like feeding time at the zoo.  Slowly they left the home for university and started their own families.  Meals are quiet now.  We can even hear the quiet, soothing music playing in the background.  But how we miss the riots that seemed to always be going on in the house!  How we miss the bunches of friends tracking mud through the house, balls bouncing off the walls, dirty cloths wadded up at the bottom of the beds, the little grapefruit tree trying to grow branches and leaves that were always being knocked off by soccer balls!

Each one of us play an important part in a happy family.  Many things cause family members to leave the parent’s home – some need to be repaired and others happen naturally.  For those happening naturally, there can be planned times to bring the joy of “family” back into the home.  Growing up in Nigeria, I enjoyed watching families get together for an entire month for weddings and funerals.  Mothers and sisters got together for weeks after the birth of a child.  The windows of my house can rattle till early mornings as neighbors here celebrate birthdays, anniversaries or holidays.  I remember families getting together at my Swedish grandmother’s house for holiday feasts.  All the men trying to eat more than the others, the women trying to keep up with food and naughty children and the rest of us playing in the river or making puzzles.

With death and a light extinguished, there is immediate sadness.  But slowly the light begins to rekindle as memories and the heritage flickers to a strong steady light that can never be dimmed.

When families are broken because of anger, work and mistreatment – lights are missing from the happy family home.  Our responsibility is to repair the hurts.  Sometimes that takes humility on our part!  But, Oh the joy of healed and happy families!!

None of us are perfect as individuals – nor are our marriages perfect.  As we work together to maintain our love and a strong marriage, our homes will be a good environment for growing and happy children.