Families are healthy and happy when Grandparents play an important role in the family. Dr. Arthur Kornhaber has said our grandparents have the second most powerful influence in our lives, following our parents. They provide us a living history helping our children develop a sense of family identity and continuity. Grandparents can often provide our children time when we cannot. Grandparents can offer a special kind of non-pressured and unconditional love. They transmit moral values unaffected by today’s sense of moral relativism – often by the quiet example of their lives. Grandparents are in a good position to have great spiritual influence on our children.

What memories do you have of your grandparents? I never knew my father’s parents as they died during plagues that devastated London in the early 1900’s. My mother’s parents were emigrants to the US from Sweden. I was only able to visit them every 4 years because we lived in Africa, but my memories will last for my entire life. My grandfather was a carpenter and a man of few words who worked hard from morning till late into the night. He built a home for his family and then homes for each of his children before he died. My memories of their home are the tantalizing smells of Swedish coffee cake or Swedish meatballs. My Grandmother would always get excited when I came to visit because she had someone to go with her as she visited the homes of friends or later Nursing Homes with plates of Swedish pastries. Because she couldn’t read English well, I would be asked to read from the Psalms to all her friends and end in a time of prayer. I can vividly remember wrapping myself into my Grandmother’s embrace or snuggling up beside her as she would come to my bed at night to pray with me. My Grandfather’s wise advice was with few words but an example of a life of integrity. These are not just memories, but formed patterns of what I still think of as I have relationships with my children.

A thought for you Grandparents reading this column: make your grandchildren a cassette tape. “This is Grandma/Grandpa’s Life.” Tell them about your childhood; how you courted and fell in love with your spouse, what were the difficult and good times of working and raising their family. Give it to your grandchildren as a present they will cherish as a living legacy for generations.

None of us are perfect as individuals – nor are our marriages perfect. As we work together to maintain our love and the love of our extended family, our homes will be a good environment for growing and happy children.