It appears there are 2 words used when someone has done something wrong to another. One is “perdon” and the other “disculpe”.  I have observed that glasses fall of the table – not, “I dropped the glass.”  Wrong was done, not, “I have done something wrong to you.”  There is a gentleness to the way wrongs are admitted and made right that is admirable. 

But we also need to acknowledge very clearly our own personal involvement and resolve the responding sentiments these actions cause in our own lives and in the lives of those affected.  We need to go beyond disculpe and honestly deal with perdon.

C.S. Lewis said, “Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea, until they have something to forgive.”  Someone said, “Doing an injury puts you below your enemy; revenging one makes you even with him; forgiving it sets you above him.”   St. Matthew, in recording a section of the Lord’s Prayer, “Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors,” used the word aphiemi for forgive.  It means to send away.  This is the same word used in Luke 4:39 when Jesus rebuked the fever in Peter’s mother-in-law.  That is the kind of forgiveness Psalm 103:12 describes as God removing our transgressions “as far as the East is from the West.”  Are really willing to perdon – to send away – the hurts that have been done to us?  Are we willing to ask perdon – to admit our personal part in the wrong?  This is a personal response.  It speaks nothing of how the other person responds.  When done honestly, this personal response frees us from the guilt, anger, hurt, responsibility, and bitterness that can develop from wounds that fester for sometimes years and years.  Is this the case for you with someone in your personal family?  Are you truly interested in a Happy Home?

David Augsburger takes perdon to a difficult conclusion.  Think if we can truly come to this conclusion:

1. See the other as having worth again, regardless of wrongdoing.
2. See the other as equally precious again, in spite of the pain felt.
3. Cancel the demands of the past; changing the unchangeable is impossible.
4. Work through the pain and anger with trust and risk till both parties understand authenticity.
5. Never demand a guarantee for future behavior.
6. Celebrate mutually that a right relationship has been achieved.

How much healing will we see across Bolivia if we truly perdon or ask perdon?

None of us are perfect as individuals – nor are our marriages perfect.  As we work together to maintain our love and a strong marriage, our homes will be a good environment for growing and happy children.