All of us who are parents want to know the correct formula for raising kind, obedient, aggressive, competent … children. John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester said, “Before I was married I had three theories about raising children. Now I have three children and no theories.” I certainly don’t have all the answers, but I have some thoughts that may help.

A father’s first responsibility to his child is to love his wife. The most favored children in the world are those whose parents love each other. A minister asked a group of children, “Why do you love God?” One boy said, “I guess it just runs in the family.” When Joseph found out that Mary was to give birth to Jesus and she was a virgin, his very first thought was to protect her reputation. That was the kind of father Jesus had. How is our love relationship today? Do we love our spouse? Do our children know it?

A kindergarten sat at the corner of a busy highway. Although the yard was nice, the children were afraid of the traffic and would huddle along the wall of the school. One day workmen built a steel fence around the entire school so the children could not see the traffic. From then on the children played in the yard. The fence did not limit their freedom; it expanded it. Children feel secure having the discipline of clear boundaries.

Someone said that a happy family is but an earlier heaven. We have the hope of a wonderful future in heaven only because Jesus Christ made the ultimate sacrifice of leaving everything in heaven to take the death penalty for our sins on the cross. As parents we will also sacrifice much of our desires to see that our children have a happy future.

Englishman John A. Patton said, “Thirty years divide a father and son. Each looks out on the world with his own eyes, and sees things from his own view-point. Is it any wonder that misunderstandings sometimes arise? The remedy lies along the lines of forbearance and sympathy. Be the friend of your boy. Let father and son cultivate the spirit of comradeship, an in every event of life there will be a chance of complete understanding between them.” Let’s be our children’s friends.

My wife makes our house a home. Our children come home from school to smells of coffee and freshly baked cookies. Home is their sanctuary – where all is safe.

None of us are perfect as individuals – nor are our marriages perfect.  As we work together to maintain our love and a strong marriage, our homes will be a good environment for growing and happy children.