I love a person who acts decisively – and isn’t just a big talker. They will make mistakes, but they’re also the leaders. I know what their views are and I know how they’ll react. I t’s the indecisive person that drives me crazy. Often I believe their answers or decisions are made because they know how I feel or might react.

Some of our children are naturally “pleasers”. They want us happy. Some of us as adults are “pleasers”. We want our children to be happy. Our passion is to avoid conflict at all expense. We vacillate on ideas, opinions and goals as fast as the weather changes on Mt. Tunari. There is a temporary peace while all are trying to please the other. But what happens when the “pleaser” finds themselves between two decisive personalities with opposing viewpoints?  The “pleaser” is in a no-win situation and will end up with an ulcer.

Well, don’t we want our children to be peacemakers? Peacemakers are not “pleasers”. Peacemakers are strong personalities who can take conflicting situations and create a common ground between the opposing positions. How do we help our children become adults who act decisively and not be “pleasers”?

A Bible character that we don’t usually think of as godly was Rehab. She was a prostitute in the city of Jericho. The Israelites were entering the Promised Land. They had miraculously crossed the Jordan River and were camped in front of Jericho. Israelite spies entered the city. Rehab quickly assessed the situation along with the reports she had heard of these people who no one could stop. She acted decisively to save the spies and then negotiated with them to save her family. She, an unlikely Gentile, is named in the genealogy of Jesus as well as listed in the Bible’s Hall of Fame in Hebrews 11.

Jesus’ mother was at a wedding when the wine ran out. Jesus made an unlikely request. “Fill the feet washing jars with water and take that water to the groom’s father.” Mary made a decisive decision to follow Jesus’ instructions and the groom’s father exclaimed, “Why have you saved the best wine till the last?”

Both women made decisive decisions because they had strong established standards. They both knew that God was all-powerful. Do we teach our children standards that our children will live by regardless of how attractive it is to compromise and be “pleasers”? Have we taught and modeled honesty, integrity, justice, truth? Let’s have this be our goal this week.

None of us are perfect as individuals – nor are our marriages perfect.  As we work together to maintain our love and a strong marriage, our homes will be a good environment for growing and happy children.